No Agenda. No Speaker. No Foregone Conclusions.

Death Café isn’t meant to be comfortable. In truth, it isn’t meant to be anything, except a space to talk about death.

I say it often. These are the keystones. This is what Death Café is.

No agenda. No speaker. No forgone conclusions.

As a facilitator and researcher, I have tried to coach myself towards neutrality. This has often looked like internally chastising myself for having a view at all.

What I’ve come to realise is that neutrality is not the goal - honesty and reflexivity are.

Owning my opinion means owning the reasons I came to it. It’s two-fold, and the former is easier than the latter.

Last month, two attendees shared their contrasting perspectives on Voluntary Assisted Dying.

I have reflected on my decision not to intervene during the exchange.

Here’s why I didn’t…

I trust the process of what unfolds around the table.

I have found the group to possess a collective intelligence that knows when to hold people in their vulnerability and to reflect when something feels misaligned.

I am intentional about creating an environment that is accepting and respectful. This does not always translate to comfort. Especially at the expense of growth.

In my experience, it’s the tense moments that give me the most.

Finally, I am a purist. No agenda. No speaker. No foregone conclusions. Intervening felt like imposing an agenda, and if there are no foregone conclusions, then there is a lot of space for differing views.

Here’s what we spoke about in March

Aussie film, Last Cab to Darwin. This is about a cab driver in Broken Hill who learns he is dying of cancer and sets out to access VAD.

Tender Funeral Home, is not-for-profit community funeral service that has a unique model being adapted around Aus. You can learn more about their work with community empowerment and education here: https://tenderfunerals.com.au/

Edge of Life, is a documentary about the emerging research and therapeutic practice of psychedelic use in palliative care to ease existential distress.