The June Death Cafe

laurenafenwick
Jul 16
2 min read

In case you missed our June Death Cafe, here's a glimpse of where the conversation took us…

We began with Voluntary Assisted Dying, but rather than debating the legislation itself, we explored how we talk about VAD. Whose stories make the news? Whose voices are missing? And how does the way we frame these conversations shape public understanding?

The discussion then turned to dementia, with recommendations including the documentary Human Forever and a recent SBS Insight episode on the topic (links below).

One attendee introduced us to The Coffin Confessor, a book about a man hired to reveal the final messages and secrets of the deceased at funerals. It prompted a conversation none of us expected.

What secrets do people take to the grave? How do those left behind make sense of the unanswered questions? Did we ever really know the people closest to us, especially our parents?

From there, we found ourselves wondering about the relationships that shape our lives. We often hear that when one spouse dies, the other soon follows. But what about relationships defined not by love, but by unresolved hurt or deep history? Can those bonds hold us just as tightly?

We were also fortunate to have our local death doula, Berni, join us for an impromptu Q&A, answering questions about the role of a death doula, what the work involves and why more people are choosing this kind of support at the end of life.

We never decide the topics beforehand. The conversation unfolds from whoever happens to walk through the door that morning.